One of my professors showed this to me in one of my philosophy classes. I thought it was too good to not post up here. I hope you either have a good laugh and/or do not become offended.
The link I posted is not the original link to the Letter but nicely explains a dispute concerning who the author was.
Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a US radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to the Old Testament, Leviticus 18:22, and cannot be condoned under any circumstance.
The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a U.S. resident, which was posted on the Internet.
Dear Dr. Laura:
Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate.
I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them.
1. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as is sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?
2. I know that I am not allowed to have contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual cleanliness - Leviticus 15:19-24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.
3. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?
4. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states she should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill her myself? Any suggestions on how I should do it?
5. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Leviticus 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?
6. Most of my male friends get their hair cut, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by the bible, in Leviticus 19:27. How should they be put to death?
7. I know from Leviticus 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?
8. My uncle has a farm. He violates Leviticus 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton and polyester blend). He also tends to curse a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? - Leviticus 24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? Leviticus 20:14
I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.
Your devoted disciple and adoring fan.
So again, please do not be offended. It was just something interesting I ran across in a class of mine. I have already had some interesting discussions with some fellow students, one of which claims that we should only follow the laws in the New Testament and not the Old Testament (although I figure, the bible is the bible, right? If you want to stand behind the bible shouldn't you stand by it in it's entirety?). But I am still learning about my own faith, so I am a horrible person to argue against, in terms of my religious "convictions" (do I have religious convictions???) and how much I know about my own religion and my own faith. No one wants to back down and try to compromise and everyone holds onto their own beliefs so strongly it makes it really hard to discuss or argue about anything, at least in a relatively academic sense that is (or maybe it is just the people I talk to?).
3 comments:
If you want to stand behind the bible shouldn't you stand by it in it's entirety?)
As far as I understand Christian theology, the Old Testament was entirely superseded by the New Testament. This is why it surprises me that Christian fundamentalists quote Leviticus at all, and not, say, I Corinthians 6:9.
The original quote, though was phrased "as an observant Orthodox Jew," so, Christian fundamentalism is beside the point.
Now for some tongue-in-cheek responses [Real explanations about why the question is stupid are in brackets]: :-)
1. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?
Fair market value... duh.
2. The problem is, how do I tell?
[In Jewish law, she tells you.]
3. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?
Your friend is a heretic. You *can* own Canadians, but watch for their flip top heads (South Park reference). [The Bible pretty clearly means "Israel" when it says "your nation." If Biblical laws were being followed literally today, something like 98% of Americans and Canadians would be eligible to be slaves from other nations. The Bible also allows limited-term debt-slavery of Israelites. ]
4. Am I morally obligated to kill her myself? Any suggestions on how I should do it?
Gather all your friends around for a good old fashioned stoning, Num 15:36 [But, to spoil all the fun, Deut 17:6 and 19:15 require two witnesses and a court to institute a death penalty.]
5. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Leviticus 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?
[According to Dr. Laura's criteria, they're equivalent, but only for a Jew. Since that part of the Bible is not directed at non-Jews (actually, at non-Israelites), it would be irrelevant.
Incidentally, a common Orthodox Jewish understanding places homosexual acts in the category of sexual relations forbidden to all people through the seven Noahide laws. Which is why it's also weird when they quote Leviticus. Only a few of the seven Noahide laws are ever spelled out as such in the Bible. Homosexual acts are not included in those. ]
7. I know from Leviticus 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?
Make sure the gloves are made of a material that doesn't transmit uncleanness! [From Dr. Laura's perspective, it would make a person ritually unclean, but, it wouldn't be forbidden because there is no prohibition against being ritually unclean.]
8. as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton and polyester blend)
Not a problem for a literalist. Only linen and wool blends are prohibited. [Incidentally, this is also how Jewish law interprets the verse]
Yes, I agree that New Testament is more applicable in our day and time. Old Testament was used to help Jews stay out of trouble, so it does not apply to the rest of us.
Also, since this topic came up, let me also point out that, according to the New Testament, strictly following laws is not enough.
Also, since this topic came up, let me also point out that, according to the New Testament, strictly following laws is not enough.
This is also true of the Hebrew Bible ("Old Testament"), except in the caricature presented of it in anti-Jewish polemic.
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