I really have to make more "me" time during the semester in order to blog.
Blogging is really relaxing for me and in the midst of all the chaos on my life right now - I need to blog.
Today I have my first final in a topology class. I am nervous about what kinds of questions he will be asking. I have to make definition cards for the material before I really do much else. I have a friend who I am supposed to study with today, we studied for a little while yesterday and I thought it went pretty well - but we need to study more because this professor is said to give difficult exams.
The first 2 exams were not terribly horrible, maybe because the material makes sense to me thus far... (but that never really means anything in a math class because you never know how much you understand until you either try to make sure you can make sense of it yourself or try to explain it to another person), but the difficulty of his exams can all change on the final. The final could completely blow me away, or not, it all depends on how prepared I am.
I am especially nervous because I already asked this professor if he would be interested in being my thesis advisor. Even though this is my first year, since masters programs, on average, are completed in 2 years I have to keep my eye on the ball and my head in the game. Knowing how I do research also gives me a good intuition for how long it might take me to finish my degree. To be honest with myself, I have to get started now if I am ever to complete my project and have something to be proud of.
When I say this I do not mean I want to have a ground-breaking research project. Although this is what most people say they want it is an easy road to disappointment. One day I wish to be a real mathematician, right now I am only learning how to do that. I am still learning how to go about approaching proofs, and actually getting somewhere sometimes, I am learning how to read math articles and how to deal with students (my most daunting task) - all of these things, and many more, are training me for what lies beyond this degree (and beyond the Ph.D.). Maybe someday I will find something potentially ground-breaking, for now I just want something acceptable and do-able in the time I have in my masters program.
So, because I really have been working on combating my procrastination (which for the most part, actually has been working this semester) I want to get started at looking at understanding a problem, it does not have to be the problem I will be working at - but any problem would be nice. I want to spend time in the library, figuring things out and reading books and articles. I want to derive conclusions from the materials I seek out, prove conjectures and lemmas. I want to remember why I went into mathematics, if not for at least one day.
Those are my goals for my winter break. I also want to work on revising my syllabus and doing lesson plans, but we all know that piling on too much work over the break is not a good idea lol. I probably will work more on the work-related material than the material I want to work on, but we will see how that goes.
Wish me luck on my final for today, I have another one on Thursday that I will need some small miracle to be able to concentrate for - but that is a post for another day.
Hope everything is going well for everyone and I also hope to post later this week. Grades come in on next Friday so let's cross our fingers for me.
Showing posts with label grad school. Show all posts
Showing posts with label grad school. Show all posts
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
Sunday, November 05, 2006
Misconceptions
Well, you can guess that a lot of things have happened since I last posted.
I did pretty well on my exam. Although my score was not fantastic - it was the 2nd highest grade in the class. For that I am particularly happy because I thought I was not understanding at all and now I feel as though I have some understanding.
I hope to have a better grade on the next exam, although I do not know when that will be.
I am having problems with students, and misconceptions, but do not want to devulge. Maybe I will find a way to do it later but who knows.
Effectively, my students are making me feel like crap because they think I am treating them in a completely different way than how I feel I am treating them. It is very upsetting and I do not know how class will go this week because of it.
We will have to see how it all goes. I am feeling very sick because of it and it does not help that my body is trying to kill me. Not literally, but figuratively.
Cross your fingers that on all homework fronts I will be able to catch up. Their homework and my own.
Must cut this short for homework purposes. I hope I step away from the computer soon...
I did pretty well on my exam. Although my score was not fantastic - it was the 2nd highest grade in the class. For that I am particularly happy because I thought I was not understanding at all and now I feel as though I have some understanding.
I hope to have a better grade on the next exam, although I do not know when that will be.
I am having problems with students, and misconceptions, but do not want to devulge. Maybe I will find a way to do it later but who knows.
Effectively, my students are making me feel like crap because they think I am treating them in a completely different way than how I feel I am treating them. It is very upsetting and I do not know how class will go this week because of it.
We will have to see how it all goes. I am feeling very sick because of it and it does not help that my body is trying to kill me. Not literally, but figuratively.
Cross your fingers that on all homework fronts I will be able to catch up. Their homework and my own.
Must cut this short for homework purposes. I hope I step away from the computer soon...
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
Game Day Recap
I do have to say, when I exited that exam I do not know what I was thinking.
For one, I should have gone over my definitions a little more thoroughly, he did ask some relatively easy definitions on the first question and for that I am thankful. But the 4th or so question had to do with giving a definition and sketching a proof and I do not know if that question was sufficiently answered.
I really cannot say how I did until I get the test back, hopefully today. Not that many people took the exam. I mean, when you start out with around 6 students and 2 students intend on dropping, how many students are going to take the exam?
So today could be a relatively good day or bad day, depending on the results of this exam. Fortunately, I will not get the exam back until the end of the day - so that is good. If I did badly I will not mention it to many other people. If I did well, it will be the main thing I talk about on Friday.
The main thing I am wondering about is, should you really compare yourself to your classmates? Personal performance is really what matters on exams, but you cannot help but wonder how you compare to the other players - right?
There is a particularly brilliant student in my class and some other hardworking students in my class, I really do not want to do badly compared to them not only because I want to do well, but if I do badly compared to the person next to me - what am I missing?
I suppose that the feeling comes from the idea that you do not want to not understand the material and if the person next to you does understand and they did perform well, why did you not understand?
Not to say that your understanding should be measured off of someone else's understanding. Those measures could be skewed by someone who has already taken a similar course, or has a special circumstance that allows them to prepare more than you (no job and no financial obligations = more study time) - why should you compare yourself to someone who has an advantage in the course?
The course where everyone believes I am a genius is one in which I have seen most of the material before. Now, the question becomes - did I really understand it? I did think that I would not understand it enough such that I felt it was necessary to register for the course, that is sure. But I did not know the material would be taught in a way that would culminate semesters worth of material for me.
The courses that I have taken that have already proven useful for this course are well over 50% of the mathematics courses I have taken, and even some philosophy courses (particularly logic). So my background may be more recent than other students and also may be more fresh in my mind, why should other students compare themselves to me?
In this particular class I do feel as though the other students treat me as infallible. Whenever I make a comment, it must be true. No matter how assinine my comment is. To be honest, I have never made an assinine comment in that class or in any of my other classes because that is not how I am. But I do get the feeling that other students treat me differently because they think I am smart, which may or may not be the case.
I have special circumstances that allow me to do well in the course, regardless of how much I study. The question becomes, do I want to do well or do I want to do better than just well in this course?
I had the option of changing my schedule very early on in the semester, I could have pushed to get all of my paperwork in order and tried to take another course that I would not have been prepared for, or taken a geometry course that sounds exciting, but would have made me stay late at school 4 days out of the week instead of the 2 days out of the week that I am staying right now.
Who knows what would have happened if I was in the other class. Maybe I would be freaking out because of the amount of work from that class and from other classes that I intend to take, but only time will tell I suppose.
For my own sake, and that of others, comparing just seems like an overall bad idea. How you do in a course should not at all be factored into by how others in the course do. Sure, you should try to study with other people and bounce ideas off of them, etc., but does that mean that you should beat yourself up because someone did better than you? Of course not. As long as your own understanding of the material is growing than that is all that matters.
I really hope I do not receive a horrible grade on this exam, that is all I really want. I want at least a passing grade. Normally, I would not say that, but I have heard this instructor is particularly rigorous. I should be excited if I get a passing grade, right? I will probably push myself harder if the grade I receive is only passing and nothing special beyond that. My sleep patterns will definitely change, as if they have not already, and I will be working harder and harder to develop the understanding that I need in order to do well in the course. Better than well - fantastic.
I am going to work on making some lesson plans for the rest of the week and, depending on how time goes, maybe even early next week. It would be nice to be ahead with my own worksheets but I am not holding my breath. Anytime I develop my own worksheet and I look at a co-workers worksheet I always find myself thinking, "hers looks better than mine" and it makes me think about all the time I spent on my worksheets (whenever I do develop worksheets).
But that is a discussion for another day I suppose.
For one, I should have gone over my definitions a little more thoroughly, he did ask some relatively easy definitions on the first question and for that I am thankful. But the 4th or so question had to do with giving a definition and sketching a proof and I do not know if that question was sufficiently answered.
I really cannot say how I did until I get the test back, hopefully today. Not that many people took the exam. I mean, when you start out with around 6 students and 2 students intend on dropping, how many students are going to take the exam?
So today could be a relatively good day or bad day, depending on the results of this exam. Fortunately, I will not get the exam back until the end of the day - so that is good. If I did badly I will not mention it to many other people. If I did well, it will be the main thing I talk about on Friday.
The main thing I am wondering about is, should you really compare yourself to your classmates? Personal performance is really what matters on exams, but you cannot help but wonder how you compare to the other players - right?
There is a particularly brilliant student in my class and some other hardworking students in my class, I really do not want to do badly compared to them not only because I want to do well, but if I do badly compared to the person next to me - what am I missing?
I suppose that the feeling comes from the idea that you do not want to not understand the material and if the person next to you does understand and they did perform well, why did you not understand?
Not to say that your understanding should be measured off of someone else's understanding. Those measures could be skewed by someone who has already taken a similar course, or has a special circumstance that allows them to prepare more than you (no job and no financial obligations = more study time) - why should you compare yourself to someone who has an advantage in the course?
The course where everyone believes I am a genius is one in which I have seen most of the material before. Now, the question becomes - did I really understand it? I did think that I would not understand it enough such that I felt it was necessary to register for the course, that is sure. But I did not know the material would be taught in a way that would culminate semesters worth of material for me.
The courses that I have taken that have already proven useful for this course are well over 50% of the mathematics courses I have taken, and even some philosophy courses (particularly logic). So my background may be more recent than other students and also may be more fresh in my mind, why should other students compare themselves to me?
In this particular class I do feel as though the other students treat me as infallible. Whenever I make a comment, it must be true. No matter how assinine my comment is. To be honest, I have never made an assinine comment in that class or in any of my other classes because that is not how I am. But I do get the feeling that other students treat me differently because they think I am smart, which may or may not be the case.
I have special circumstances that allow me to do well in the course, regardless of how much I study. The question becomes, do I want to do well or do I want to do better than just well in this course?
I had the option of changing my schedule very early on in the semester, I could have pushed to get all of my paperwork in order and tried to take another course that I would not have been prepared for, or taken a geometry course that sounds exciting, but would have made me stay late at school 4 days out of the week instead of the 2 days out of the week that I am staying right now.
Who knows what would have happened if I was in the other class. Maybe I would be freaking out because of the amount of work from that class and from other classes that I intend to take, but only time will tell I suppose.
For my own sake, and that of others, comparing just seems like an overall bad idea. How you do in a course should not at all be factored into by how others in the course do. Sure, you should try to study with other people and bounce ideas off of them, etc., but does that mean that you should beat yourself up because someone did better than you? Of course not. As long as your own understanding of the material is growing than that is all that matters.
I really hope I do not receive a horrible grade on this exam, that is all I really want. I want at least a passing grade. Normally, I would not say that, but I have heard this instructor is particularly rigorous. I should be excited if I get a passing grade, right? I will probably push myself harder if the grade I receive is only passing and nothing special beyond that. My sleep patterns will definitely change, as if they have not already, and I will be working harder and harder to develop the understanding that I need in order to do well in the course. Better than well - fantastic.
I am going to work on making some lesson plans for the rest of the week and, depending on how time goes, maybe even early next week. It would be nice to be ahead with my own worksheets but I am not holding my breath. Anytime I develop my own worksheet and I look at a co-workers worksheet I always find myself thinking, "hers looks better than mine" and it makes me think about all the time I spent on my worksheets (whenever I do develop worksheets).
But that is a discussion for another day I suppose.
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
Game Day
Ok, so how many "sports" have a game day on a Tuesday?
Mathematics!
Despite what some people say about proofs, etc., mathematics is a performance sport. Tests are a measure of how you can perform on a particular day, game day otherwise known as test day.
So what do I do the night before game day? Unfortunately, I do not look over the countless vocabulary cards I made, which still do not reach the few days before lecture, and it sucks because I know he will have definitions on there that I may not remember.
I do have until 6:30 pm to make sure I am prepped for this exam, but I do not know how much that will help me since my own students have a test tomorrow and will be coming to my office hours to visit with me and ask me questions. Which I do not mind since that is what my office hours are supposed to be for.
If I do poorly on this exam, at least I have the final - right? I think I will pass, but how much passing is the next question. I am about third or fourth down the line in terms of understanding the material, at least that is my estimate. I believe some other students think otherwise, but perception is skewed because of another class that all of us are taking together.
I can only hope for the best and wish to be able to prepare today moreso than other days. I want to leave for campus early so I can drop some stuff off at the office and possibly head towards the library to work on things by myself. I will not be grading more student papers today, I already graded a bunch of my other class and spent way too much time doing that so I did not finish my flash cards, but I do not blame them. I only blame myself for not starting to make index cards earlier, because I know I have a problem with vocabulary. Although I did only organize my binder a few weeks ago, it is my personal responsibility to insure that I understand the vocabulary.
Knowing vocabulary is like doing running drills, if I do not do them for weeks - how do I expect to perform well on game day?
Cross your fingers, hope for the best. Tomorrow I will post about how I think the test went, how the questions were, whether or not I caught stupid mistakes as I left the test, etc., but I will only really know how I did when I receive the results - which will probably be Thursday or next Tuesday.
Wish me luck.
Mathematics!
Despite what some people say about proofs, etc., mathematics is a performance sport. Tests are a measure of how you can perform on a particular day, game day otherwise known as test day.
So what do I do the night before game day? Unfortunately, I do not look over the countless vocabulary cards I made, which still do not reach the few days before lecture, and it sucks because I know he will have definitions on there that I may not remember.
I do have until 6:30 pm to make sure I am prepped for this exam, but I do not know how much that will help me since my own students have a test tomorrow and will be coming to my office hours to visit with me and ask me questions. Which I do not mind since that is what my office hours are supposed to be for.
If I do poorly on this exam, at least I have the final - right? I think I will pass, but how much passing is the next question. I am about third or fourth down the line in terms of understanding the material, at least that is my estimate. I believe some other students think otherwise, but perception is skewed because of another class that all of us are taking together.
I can only hope for the best and wish to be able to prepare today moreso than other days. I want to leave for campus early so I can drop some stuff off at the office and possibly head towards the library to work on things by myself. I will not be grading more student papers today, I already graded a bunch of my other class and spent way too much time doing that so I did not finish my flash cards, but I do not blame them. I only blame myself for not starting to make index cards earlier, because I know I have a problem with vocabulary. Although I did only organize my binder a few weeks ago, it is my personal responsibility to insure that I understand the vocabulary.
Knowing vocabulary is like doing running drills, if I do not do them for weeks - how do I expect to perform well on game day?
Cross your fingers, hope for the best. Tomorrow I will post about how I think the test went, how the questions were, whether or not I caught stupid mistakes as I left the test, etc., but I will only really know how I did when I receive the results - which will probably be Thursday or next Tuesday.
Wish me luck.
Friday, October 20, 2006
So Fresh and So Clean
Tonight the math grads are going out on the town. I will post more about it later, but I do have to say that it really is a whole lot of fun to go out with a bunch of people in the department.
We get to hang out and not talk about math the entire time, most of the time we talk about office gossip - but we have a real fun time doing it.
Ok, so there isn't much office gossip, but we get to know each other and have fun. I actually happen to be very thankful for being in a department with so many great people.
So, what are you doing tonight?
We get to hang out and not talk about math the entire time, most of the time we talk about office gossip - but we have a real fun time doing it.
Ok, so there isn't much office gossip, but we get to know each other and have fun. I actually happen to be very thankful for being in a department with so many great people.
So, what are you doing tonight?
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