Changing Over

Recently, I got a new haircut. But is that the only news I have? Is it ever?

It seems that we're all in a state of change, much like the seasons. I have, finally, come down with my winter season illness. I get sick every fall/winter and I was expecting it to come eventually, but now it is in full force and I did not go to work earlier today.

I really wish I could have gone to work, I really honestly do because I hate feeling like I didn't get my fair share of work done. I also hate feeling this crappy, but that has almost nothing to do with it.

Our insurance cards are still not in, which means it is virtually impossible for me to get a Doctors appointment and get better medication than I could get over-the-counter. But I have stocked up on my winter essentials, Vicks Vapor-rub, Nyquil, Tissues, Cough Drops, etc. - so that is very good.

I am constantly tired, mostly because this illness is wearing down on me, but it partially also (I think) has to do with the fact that I have run myself down. It is only half-way through the semester and I have finally crashed, which is not good. My throat feels like a razor has gone through it and stripped it clean and my nose feels like Niagra Falls - is this how my body breaks down? There is so much pressure to do well and to complete everything, turn everything in on time and do everything efficiently, but am I cut out for this?

I guess most people who teach ask themselves, every once in a while - am I doing a good job? I suppose anyone in any job should be asking themselves this question. That is, if they care about their performance. Since I am in this profession for the long haul, I do sincerely care about my students' performance but does this translate into killing myself over grading their papers? Does this translate into not getting my own work done? Not getting enough sleep and not having enough energy to go up and down the stairs into my apartment (I live on the 3rd floor)?

I am a little stressed out over what classes to take next semester. It turns out that I have been cut a new one, what I mean to say is that I may not be able to take a course I need to take next semester. I will be submitting (I know, I'm a slacker) my final transcript into the graduate college and I will see if they will accept my credits such that I can take this course, but who knows what will happen and whether or not everything will be taken care of before early registration starts later this month?

I wonder sometimes about my students, do they go into early registration assuming they are going to pass this course? Do they sign up for the next course already? Some of them, unfortunately, do not have a prayer - they have not performed well enough on the previous exams to be able to go on to the next course. While they have not asked me whether or not they should sign up for the next course I am a bit apprehensive about answering that particular question. For one, I am not supposed to give registration advice. It is against our "code of honor" I guess you could say. We have been cautioned that this is a particularly rocky road to go down, but does this mean if a student asks me if they have a chance of passing I should say "no" if that is the answer?

I am afraid they will give up if they know the truth. I can tell from their second exam grade whether or not they will do well enough to pass. Some of them have brought their grades up enough to warrant a possible passing grade, but some of them have not worked hard enough to do this. Actually, I should not say that. I have some students that show up to every lecture, but I believe they are so not enamored with mathematics that these feelings reflect themselves upon their work. Since they have defeated themselves internally, there is nothing that I can do to help them. It makes me sad, honestly, that their grades are not improving, or at least I should say not improving enough.

I am sure that other TAs, professors, lectures, disseminators of mathematical knowledge, have these concerns. So, I ask - what do you say to a student who asks you about their performance and the news is not very pleasant?

[Update: Some of you may have noticed we have switched to the new Blogger Beta, the labels/categories are very exciting! I hope to update some of the older posts soon.]